Kids airplane tips

I am coming home tomorrow which means about a ten hour flight on the airplane. UGH. It's been such a great trip, but I'm excited to see my kiddos again too. I have some Italian candy and money to show them. They will like that. This trip I'll be on my own so I can quietly sit and read or watch a movie, but usually when I travel it is with a passel of kids in tow. In the early days of motherhood I used to pack everything but the kitchen sink in my diaper bag. And then spend the trip frantically doling out this and that to whoever seemed about to throw a fit. Anyone been there? It can be very stressful traveling with children. On the plane I worried that they were too wiggly or kicking the seat in front of them. I was so concerned that we would be disturbing other passengers that I spent the whole flight in a state of frantic fight or flight mode. I was an exhausted wreck by the end time we reached our destination. And my back hurt from lugging around everybody's stuff. And from feeling like a crazed person trying to keep everyone happy with snacks and games and paper etc. I finally learned a few things along the way that have made trips much easier for me:

-Relax!!! People really aren't paying as much attention as you think they are. The sounds of the plane really do muffle most of the noise on your row, so unless your child is completely screaming they can probably truly barely be heard by the people around you. They are so absorbed in their own conversations or have on movie headphones, that they aren't as bothered as you might imagine. Even those who do hear you most likely have kids of their own and are sympathetic. As for those few rare moments when your toddler is pitching a huge tantrum and others are staring...just remember this too shall pass. And you'll likely never see these people again. Just do the best that you can. What more can you do? Stressing isn't going to help and will probably only serve to further agitate your child.

-You are not a cart horse. Whenever we travel now we pack individual backpacks for each child and they carry their own gear. Even the littlest ones can carry a backpack. They kind of think it's fun actually. That way you can customize each pack to the needs of the child and they have easy access to the snacks and activities that they want without coming to you a million times for resupply. It takes a little doing to fill the packs before leaving, but saves so much stress on the plane that it is well worth the effort. These individual backpacks come in handy during the waiting time at the airport terminal as well.

-Your attitude makes all the difference. If you stay upbeat the kids will be excited about the trip, but if you are whining about the troubles of traveling guess what? So will they. In most cases you are going somewhere you want to go and making the trip on purpose right? I know the details can be tough sometimes, but think how truly amazing it is to be able to cross the country in a matter of hours to see family or visit and exciting destination. Don't let the hardships get you down. Focus on the positive and your kids will too. Most of the things we stress endlessly about really aren't that bad if we don't grow them out of proportion in our own minds.

- Bribery works...I know I know healthy food is best. But if some junk food keeps them happy on the plane I say go with it. Let them watch the movie and play that hand held video game. Everyone will be much happier if you do. :-)

- Choose your seat assignments wisely. Think through which children are most compatible with one another and put older ones near younger ones. They can help out some so you are not run ragged. Offer an older child an incentive of some sort to be a "travel buddy" to a younger sibling.  It's a win win situation that way and helps out a lot.

Traveling is supposed to be enjoyable. So play some games like "eye spy" and try to keep on smiling. And plan ahead to arrive early so you aren't running and racing every step along the way. Have fun!!!

Mommy Vacation Guilt

I am leaving tomorrow to spend a week in Italy. My best friend and her family are living in Rome right now, so I am going to go visit her while my husband holds down the fort here at home. I'm very excited about this trip. It will be my first time visiting Europe and I have a million things I want to see and do. But today I noticed a tiny bit of "mommy guilt" seeping into my day. I'm trying very hard to make sure things are all set and ready before I go so no one's activities will be interrupted at all. Food is in the pantry so they won't starve. This will a good chance for the kids to spend extra time with their Dad, so I know they will have fun. I won't even be away all that long really.  I won't miss too much and they'll barely notice I'm gone before I'm on my way home. So why then am I feeling these pangs that somehow I shouldn't be doing this? I don't think I'm the only Mom out there that feels guilt when she does anything just for herself.  I think we all need to stop doing that to ourselves don't you? And here's why -

1) It's important now and then for a woman to reconnect with who she is at a deep level. Just her, all by herself. To have fun and have time to think and relax and have adventures.  Just because we had a child it doesn't mean that the girl inside of us ceased to exist. We don't stop having dreams and goals and wanting to play and laugh and explore. I love being a Mom and it brings me great joy. But now and then I want to go remember that I am not just "Kevin's Mother". I am Laura. And I'm going to love eating gelato on the Spanish Steps.

2) It's a good message to teach our children that they need to take time to renew their spirits. So when they are parents they will nurture themselves and their relationships with their spouses properly. I wish now I had understood this better when I was a younger mother. I want to teach this lesson to them.

3) It's a good thing now and then for kids to have time with their dad's with Mom out of the way. The child/father relationship is different than the one they share with their mothers. But since Mom is often the more hands-on parent, Dad can feel a little pushed out of the way at times. He may not do things exactly how you do them while you are gone, but the kids will have a great time. Remember that old Bill Cosby comedy routine? "Dad is great! Gives us the chocolate cake."   No worries...they'll survive.

4)  There can be a bit of relentlessness in the life of a mother. Repetitive tasks and constant demands. Carpools and meals to be prepared. Diapers and dishes. Laundry. Homework. Pretty much dawn to dark day after day. It's all good, but can be physically and mentally exhausting. A little R and R  can help ward off depression and anxiety and resentment. Getting some extra sleep and a little break in the same routine is critical now and then. I am a better Mom when I take the time to recharge my own personal batteries from time to time. Even the long plane ride sounds restful. Hours and hours with no one asking me anything except "peanuts or pretzels?" Bliss!

5) Going away helps you appreciate coming home all the more. As nice as the vacation will be I will miss seeing the faces of my loved ones every day. Will wonder often what they are doing. I'll miss them. And be just as excited to be on my way home as I am to be leaving now. I'll return with some fun stories and pictures and European candy to share! They have already put in their requests.

I'm going to try to keep up with the blogs this week, but if my posts are a little more sporadic than usual I hope you will understand. The Sistine Chapel calls my name!! Au Revoir!